Hey there,
Can you relate to this situation? 👇
You know you need to give feedback to someone but you know it may hurt their feelings or otherwise upset them. Instead of sticking to your truth when giving feedback, you start sugar-coating, or even avoiding the conversation.
According to Adam Grant, withholding feedback is not constructive or helpful to you or the person that you need to give feedback to. But at the core of your anxiety around giving feedback may be something that many of us "suffer from”: people-pleasing.
You want to make everyone happy and when you face situations where you simply can’t achieve that - which in leadership happens very often - you start feeling drained, down and even can start avoiding doing the right thing.
There are a few resources I found useful that can help you to stop people-pleasing and stay true to your decisions and perspective:
How to stop people-pleasing 🙅♀️
👉 3 Ways to Stop People-Pleasing and Start Leading by Bunch
Top takeaway: It’s ok to take a “time-out” if you can’t face saying “No” right away. Simply ask if you can back to the person and prepare yourself to keep your course when facing them again.
👉 Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind by Brene Brown
Top takeaway: Feeding people half-truths is always about making yourself feel comfortable, not them. That’s why clarity is kind, because it serves the other person.
👉 21 Tips to Stop Being a People-Pleaser by Psych Central
Top takeaway: You can assert yourself in an empathic way, by listening and understanding where people are coming from and still saying NO where NO needs to be said.
Tips from the Bunch AI Coach
This week’s tip “An Engineer’s Guide to Saying No” comes from Michael Lopp, Engineering Leader at Apple and Author of Managing Humans - it’s all about different ways to say NO constructively and don’t worry if you’re not an engineer - it’s still SUPER useful 👇👇👇
Have a great week and keep your head up high and your heart open when speaking your truth!
Darja